I had this typical of he-likes-me-but-not-my-type conversation yesterday. Yes again, for the hundredth time.
How long have you waited for the man/woman that seem quite right for you? 10 years? 20 years?
Have you started to think that the numbers of qualified man/woman has been declining for the past years, and all the good ones are taken? And then you start to blame yourself that you might be too nerdy or too chubby or too tall or too short, to get a boyfriend/girlfriend. And the climax stop at you trying to justify all the bullshits such as ‘I have not given a thought of a boyfriend yet’, ‘I need to focus on my career first’, and blah blah.
I need you to stop right now and get yourself a mirror.
The truth is you are perfect and amazing human being, just as you are, whether you are chubby, short, tall, geek, weird, fair skin, dark skin, etc.
The truth is there might be several men tried to ask you out in the past, but you deliberately shove them away just because you think he wasn’t decent enough for you.
The truth is you just think too much before it haven’t even started yet. Just jump and fall!
And to top it all, you just have way too many boundaries and see too many flaws in people, that you can’t see that you are fill of flaws as well.
I apologize for the harsh words, but sometimes I feel the urge to personally slap these people to stop creating unreasonable scenarios in their head, so they could get back on their feet that there is no right person. and neither are you.
He ain’t right.
You ain’t right.
Together both of you could be right for each other.
We’re all seeking that special person who is right for us. But if you’ve been through enough relationships, you begin to suspect there’s no right person, just different flavors of wrong. Why is this? Because you yourself are wrong in some way, and you seek out partners who are wrong in some complementary way. But it takes a lot of living to grow fully into your own wrongness. And it isn’t until you finally run up against your deepest demons, your unsolvable problems—the ones that make you truly who you are—that we’re ready to find a lifelong mate. Only then do you finally know what you’re looking for. You’re looking for the wrong person. But not just any wrong person: the right wrong person—someone you lovingly gaze upon and think, “This is the problem I want to have.”
I will find that special person who is wrong for me in just the right way.
Release the fear. Stop finding the wrong in people, and start looking for the goodness in them.