Twisted

1 Feb

When does love become so twisted?

Oh right.

It will never be UN-twisted.

It’s been so absurd and blurry and … I can’t even describe it anymore.

“Is he the right one?”

Really, I can’t answer it with ‘yes’ or ‘no’ when I don’t even know the definition of the-right-one.

What if there’s not only ONE??
What if there are TWO??
Would it be possible to change the question to be,”Are they the right ones?”
Would it be wrong?

Maybe the way we feel isn’t supposed to be logical, to be rational.

I think you could fall in love with anyone if you saw the parts of them no one else gets to see. Like if you followed them around invisibly for a day and saw them crying in their bed at night or singing in the shower or humming quietly to themselves as they make a sandwich or even just walking along the street. And even if they were really weird and had no friends at school, I think, after seeing them at their most vulnerable, you wouldn’t be able to help falling in love with them.

Maybe there’s something I’m afraid to say, or someone I’m afraid to love, or somebody I’m afraid to let go.

It’s gonna hurt. I know.
It’s gonna hurt because it matters.

But, maybe it’s okay to be unsure and scared.

Someday…
Yes, one day I would be certain enough to answer.

But for now, I think I gotta just take things for what they are, not try to label it or explain it.

In another life, I would make you stay,
So I don’t have to say you were the one that got away,
The one that got away

-Ness-

3 Responses to “Twisted”

  1. HeavenlyButterfly aka Heidi March 31, 2012 at 11:44 pm #

    This hit the spot for me today, thank you…Much love to your day!

    ~HeavenlyButterfly~

  2. Sandra December 13, 2013 at 1:41 am #

    I just stumbled….and I must say I feel such a connection to much of what you have written. I dare….in love as well….and perhaps lost this time…I do not know. I just know….if I am not the very intense..unique me that I am and do things that I feel …then it feels….diluted…bottom shelf..empty. I can either be 100% radiant me…impulsive and affectionate…but Always steadfastly certain about …everything…..or….well. It is the only way I know how to be….if I try to do it like some one else…..it just won’t work. I never thought of myself as an Alpha Female…..but clearly that is exactly who I am.
    I really enjoyed reading what you wrote. Its good you are who you are. It takes so much more courage to be a unique individual…but the rewards….endless. Be Happy and well..I look forward to more of you articles. S

    • Vanessa December 16, 2013 at 12:18 pm #

      Hello Sandra, I’m glad you enjoyed my writings🙂 It will never be easy with love, but I can assure you, it’s a lifetime process… try to enjoy every moment of it. Never change who you are, you are not born to please others,but to make your every second worth living🙂 Keep your chin up, beautiful!
      Lots of love, V

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