I spent most of my late teens, jumped from relationship to relationship. I thought I knew love, but I realized at some point that I seemed to be in and out of relationship, without finding anything. A quest to find a real love can be a steep learning curve and full of heart-break. I used to try so hard to make the relationship work. I would spent so much time, trying to be happy in it. That where my problem was, because trying to do better, doesn’t make it better.
Sooner, I come to my senses that I need to know who the real me is. I got to stay close to my passions, my purpose and my true self. Most importantly I discovered that once I started to truly love myself, eventually true love will come to me. I fell in and I fell out. I was loved and I was hurt. Over and over again, through a growing process, I always find some things to believe in love… again.
I put on 3 key aspects to find love (or found by love) :
1. Accept and Love yourself
Each person is unique and special. There is only one YOU in this world and no one can compare to your uniqueness. Everyone is a special creation with specialties and flaws. No one is perfect, and the imperfectness eventually comes along with opportunities and challenges. Accept your past mistakes, let it go, learn from it. Moreover, how could you love another human being, if you couldn’t love the closest one…YOU.
2. Discover yourself
You can never ever change another person, not under his/her own willingness. If you failed on a relationship or feel unhappy, discover its source. Look out for the bright side of every failure and find the solution not to fall on the same point. Discover yourself also means to know what you want to have and what you want to do.
3. Love genuinely
This is the greatest lesson of all my past relationships. Love is unpredictable and when it comes, simply just do one thing : love and give. The truth is, you could do nothing to get rid of being hurt. If you love less or more, nothing can be a guarantee to keep your heart secure. The best we could do is become the right person and do the right thing.
I learned that it is not about how to find the one to love, it is more about how to find the love to be the one. If you are in a relationship, do not mind so much asking about whether he/she is the right one for you, but do mind if you are already being the right person for your partner, to create a right relationship.
Father Boogartz told me, “Believe in love once again.” It sounded ridiculous at that time, but eventually I did believe in love again, and now, I’m thankful that I have found someone who loves me so much. I do realize that I can’t guarantee his love on me, yet I just want to give and love as long as I could. If it succeed in the end, that would be really wonderful for me and him, but if it failed, there would be another person who would fill the space in my heart.
After all, the universe will know when we are ready, and when we are, true love will happen, unexpectedly. Bonne chance! 🙂
Lots of love,