Surviving the LDR’s enigma

16 Feb

Dear readers,

I am now living in another new city. New job, new place, new friends, new environment… I really missed Bandung so much, and all the good things happened there. Today is my 2nd day, and somehow I feel a little bit lonely. A lonely feeling can be a little too much when you are used to be around the people you love. This feeling could really be a huge thing when it comes into a relationship.

Every relationship needs effort and sacrifice to make it work. To have someone special and keeping the relationship alive is one hell of a job, and distance usually makes it tougher. Some people get scared of it, some others go against the tide and battle it everyday. Relationship is no different than life, you need to put your heart in it, give it your best shot, and leave it to fate.

First thing to be noted, you can think of doing a long-distance relationship only if you are a person who is ready for a real commitment, or at least ready for the risk of long-term relationship. If petty misunderstanding could usually erased by a simple hug, it wouldn’t be the same with distance come along with it. There will be times when you are down exhausted and your significant other are in the most cheerful mood to phone you. You can’t pretend to be interested to talk, can you? The thing is, long distance relationship shall work out on bringing out the best, at the worst in each other. It is the couple’s perspective that will need to count on.

Long distance relationship is indeed difficult, but it is possible, as long as both of you are willing to make the effort. There’s always a way to tiptoe around the issue here. So, let us break it down into 4 strikes to survive on your LDR.

1. Pack a Pact
You and your partner need to establish some ground rules before the two of you sail away. Talk about what is okay and what isn’t, what’s acceptable and what’s not, be fair (night outs, new friends, clubs, etc). This also includes priorities and commitment. You’d better read the contract carefully before you sign the deal.

2. Communication
Do you know that a 15-minutes phone call could washed your clouds away? In a long distance relationship, closeness is more crucial than a normal one. Regardless how busy your schedule is, make sure that you take a time out to talk with each other at least twice a week. With the advent of technology, you can keep in touch not just by phone calls; email, skype, chat, and even snail mails will meant so much for your partner. Every modes of communication will help you and your partner close even though you’re technically far away from each other. (salute to the inventor of webcam!)

3. Surprises
Who doesn’t like “thinking of you” card on top of a bouquet of flowers delivered to you? Give a little of something — write a mushy love letter, order lunch and have it delivered to your partner, mail a gift, just be creative. A surprise visit would be the greatest effort of all. Your partner will feel cherished to know that you’re thinking of him/her in every little thing.

4. Honesty and Trust.
These two things are the most important foundations to maintain your relationship. Trust is earn, and once broken, it can be very very difficult to fix it. Sometimes, mood-swing can lead you not to be honest with each other, but don’t let it be a new habit, it will eat you up in the end. Be honest about what you feel and work the obstacles out together. Remain honest and faithful to each other.

It takes a lot to maintain a long distance relationship. It costs energy, time, and money to keep it steady. But, if you’re in it already, stay strong and positive! Take it as your journey together to strengthen the bond. True love is worth the effort 🙂

Lots of love,
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

4 Responses to “Surviving the LDR’s enigma”

  1. Adrian Trisnadi February 16, 2011 at 10:55 pm #

    Nessa…i miss your friend badly…hahahhaha….LDR = sucks….better single than LDR…viva single…hahahaha….
    u still with him??

  2. ...now and forever yours February 17, 2011 at 11:47 pm #

    I don’t know you but I can really relate to what you wrote abt…
    Best of luck and hang on there am sure u guys will make it!
    XX

  3. Belinda February 22, 2011 at 1:05 am #

    haa!ternyata Vaness, so sorry for my memory it’s a bad luck when that hard “kejedug” happened.
    hehehe…

    LDR is hard indeed friends but somehow GOD will aloud our heart to be strong, and between the range of it there are so many extraordinary lesson that HE given for us.

    And when HE decided that everything may goes to our so it will be.
    Cheer up then…if it he’s the best so GOD will lead it to be yours ;0)

    Hiii happy for what u already gain anyway Vanessa. It’s a fantastic step .GBU always

    • Vanessa February 22, 2011 at 7:18 pm #

      hehe, thanks again! I’m also glad with what I got now, it’s such a miraculous thing God’s given to me🙂

      and about LDR, yes, I’ll try my best and leave the rest to God, let His will be done🙂

      GBU too ka Belu

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