After such a long time suffering from a writer’s block, I finally have something to write here. Thanks to Blair Waldorf and folks in the Gossip Girl. Well yes, unexpectedly a conversation between Blair and her mom, did inspire me, to write about “being an alpha female” here.
Blair: What I want is to be a powerful woman.
Eleanor: You don’t have to lose the girl to be a woman. Just…need to think. Maybe about how many people are going to be around the next time you let her out.
Despite all of the wicked stuff Blair did, I still acknowledge her as an Alpha female.
So, let us start with, what is An Alpha Female?
“Alpha” means “The First”, and this term was first started to the leaders of animal packs, such as wolves. An alpha female or an alpha male is usually the strongest and the bravest, the leader of the pack. Such characteristics like aggressive, dominance, confidence, persistence, are possessed in an alpha. An alpha female will often do less damage than an alpha male, because in her term, success is to friend and befriend other alphas.
Mademoiselle Alpha Femme has a high level of self-directedness, especially when it’s about her goals. She can be very determined, bold, and a competitive high achiever. Usually, she can be really good at persuasion. When persuasion doesn’t work, she may not hesitate to use intimidation elegantly until others agree with her or shut up. She’s trained not to let others take advantage of her and to protect everyone she loves. She will not think twice to hurt those who try to mess up with her and her packs.
Some women are born with alpha characteristics, which naturally made them the alpha females. Nature created them to lead their family and community. She is well prepared for her own survival and for those she loves. An alpha female is born, and genetically, she is born to compete, and to win.
If being a mighty alpha female is really that great, is there any down side with being an alpha female?
The alpha female population is a minority population. It’s no surprise that the non-alphas often look the alphas as ones who slyly dominated others and arrogantly underestimate others. The alphas are also could hardly understand the non-alphas, and that makes the alphas choose to care less with it. The alphas are trained to be tough and be ready for whatever threats may hit them.
Over decades, alpha women were taught to submerge these alpha characteristics, in order to honor social order between men and women. Nowadays, those characteristics are rewarded in this new era, and alpha women can be proud of it. However, a successful alpha female can often ruin a relationship.
The alpha characteristics may leave a woman impatient and critical with her partner. She often feels like listening to her partner is pointless. A man in a relationship with an alpha woman may often feels like a “Yes man” and he may feel like he is dominated. He may often find intimidated by her whole-being and charisma, and most likely feel boring because even when he feels differently, she’s likely to be the one who is dominant anyway. Such problems often lead alpha females to constantly burying her alpha female characteristics.
According to the explanation above, there might be some questions popped up in your mind:
1. “I don’t think there is such a thing called an alpha, and if there were one, why the alphas seem to over- dominate? “
2. “I think I’m an alpha female, what should I do to minimize all damage effects of being an alpha?”
3.”How can I be an alpha female?”
I’m going to answer the most probable questions based on my point of view and my values.
1. Believe it or not, it’s out there. If you don’t believe it, open your eyes and look around you, there are some alpha females live and lead (Oprah Winfrey, Condi Rice, Michelle Obama, etc). Or probably, an alpha female leads you. The alphas never intended to dominate others, it runs in the blood, and the alphas usually think for the greater good. Besides, the nature needs a balance, some people are born to be leaders and some others are born to be doers.
2. By keeping your feet on the ground. As an alpha female, you are destined to be on the top, which is could be a very tricky position. If you are not careful, you can fall easily. As an alpha, you are also blessed with wisdom. There is no guide book, it is all a process to learn and to be understood in time.
3. Be comfortable with yourself, find your uniqueness, be true to yourself, love yourself and care for others. Before you start to be an alpha for others, you should be able to be an alpha for yourself.
So, what traits should an alpha female have ?
The Alpha Female is fiercely independent and can take care of herself. She stands up for herself. She will not do a thing in order to impress anyone.
The Alpha Female has her own style. She follows the voice of her feelings and doesn’t neglect her common-sense. She may even outright/reject one or more social conventions.
The Alpha Female knows her own values and sees that she’s beautiful from the inside out. She is only pleased with the BEST in everything from men to career.
The Alpha Female sees the positive side of life and enjoys playing in it. She has opinions, interests and passions which make her unlike common girls.
The Alpha female puts respect on other people and is selective about who she invites into her life. She is warm and friendly, but also strong when necessary. She knows when to admit her weakness, and she always stands up with her own feet every time she falls.
So writer, are you an alpha female?
I am an alpha female and I am proud of it. Being an alpha female is not just a special privilege, but it is also a serious role and responsibility to be taken. There is no way to say that being an alpha female is easy, yet it’s worth all the sacrifices.
Writer, how do you overcome all the downsides, like rumors, relationship with men and such?
I am born to be who I am now, and it is such a waste to take myself for granted. If people think that I, by any chance make them feel inferior, I guess it’s their problem to rethink about how they perceive themselves. And about relationship with male species, I think an alpha female deserve a person who has the same rhythm of life as hers. Well, after all, an alpha female always simply look for the absolute best.
(“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.-Anais Nin)
A lady always meant to be true to herself and be independent on her own.
A lady knows what is best for her, and only looks out for the best for others.
A lady knows when to be an alpha and an alpha knows when to be a lady.
So ladies, are you an alpha female?