Mistakes Therapy

26 Sep

The MEM (Master of Engineering Management) degree may be right for you if…

* you are a science or engineering major interested in developing skills in business, technology management, or entrepreneurship
* you are interested in technology leadership or a career in industrial management, high technology management, R&D management or technology entrepreneurship in a start-up company
* you would like to combine a core management curriculum with a master’s level technical education
* you are seeking an alternative to a traditional masters in engineering or an MBA

Answer :

* YES.

I’ve been looking out for a major that suits my interest to continue my further study. A limited number of preferences led me to 2 universities that EXACTLY offer a master program that I’m insanely interested in. Surprisingly, those which offer M.E.M programs are Dartmouth (Thayer) and Duke (Pratt), which are Ivy league schools.(oh yeah, surprised!!!)

(The main issue is not about an obligation to go to an Ivy, but I want to study M.E.M so bad! In addition, what a coincidence that the only ones suit my interest, are them)

You know, everyone knows, God knows, how difficult it is to enter an Ivy (even Hell entrance test would be way much easier). Checking at the recent student profiles, makes me feel even more like an idiot. There is no way that I could compete with those incredible applicants, with my current academic record. In this circumstances, good is not enough. There is no excuse for a mistake. They look for an excellence (or perhaps perfection). Period.

I blame myself for this. (and there goes the “if only…” clause and “how could I…” question)
For letting a single stupidity in the past, ruined my goals.
For being so reckless few years ago that cost me a total regret.
For allowing one unwise decision, distracted my determination.

My mistakes.
My bad.
I admit it. I confess it.

No, it’s not anyone’s fault. I’m not a kind of person who like to blame others for my unfortunate condition.
I made those mistakes and I acknowledged myself for being an idiot back then.
And this time, as much as I tried not to regret it… I do!!
I’ve been working so hard to fix the damage, yet it seems like I have to pay a really expensive price, that also cost a part of my future plans.

“If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.”

I am breaking down, yes. Living in all the consequences is tearing me apart. Getting myself back to the right track that I planned years ago, is extremely hurting me. Every time I reminisce my mistakes, it feels like I’m
stabbing myself over and over again.

It’s painful, no doubt.
But hell no, I’m not giving up. haha.
I can’t agree more with you that doing the ‘not giving up’ thing is million times harder than doing the opposite thing.
Shame on me if I quit, while those mistakes had ruined part of my goals and laughed me off. I won’t make any worse mistakes by quitting. Once I quit, I am a loser. And I don’t want to be one, never.

So, perhaps there is any of you have ever felt like what I am feeling now, or you are now in the similar situation as mine. I understand completely how you tempted to quit. I get it that you are so tired with pushing yourself beyond limit. I feel it too. I know exactly it sucks to keep going on the rough patch and run away sounds a whole lot better. But please, don’t. You are stronger than you could ever think of. There must be a way out. I also haven’t figured it out yet, but I’m sure, somehow there will be.

Few tips from me :

1. Be honest to yourself that you made mistakes and can’t change it.

Lies always make anything worse. And don’t forget, we don’t have a time-machine (yet).
“It is the highest form of self-respect to admit our errors and mistakes and make amends for them. To make a mistake is only an error in judgment, but to adhere to it when it is discovered shows infirmity of character.”

2. Be Responsible. Do not blame others for your bad situation now.
As soon as you start blaming others, you draw yourself away from learning possible lesson and you will have a potential chance to repeat the same mistake.
“You may make mistakes, but you are not a failure until you start blaming someone else”

3. Move on and don’t you ever quit.
No matter how ugly it looked like, take the consequences. Precious life lessons can only be learned in the hard way.
“Pain is nothing compared to what it feels like to quit. If you quit, however, it lasts forever.”

Winners are not those who never fail (make mistakes), but those who never quit.



7 Responses to “Mistakes Therapy”

  1. Indra September 26, 2010 at 11:35 pm #

    sedih yah.. btw this entry is much better than your essays before.. 🙂 keep writing, mommy! I can feel your grief and sadness in this entry, nevertheless. All I can say is that I agree with you that we must be HONEST to ourselves that we’ve made mistakes, be RESPONSIBLE without blaming anyone and MOVE ON.. 😀 keep moving on, mommy! don’t ever let anyone break your wings.. you know that you still have your best men and women who will faithfully support you.. 🙂

  2. Lala September 27, 2010 at 10:45 am #

    Hey girl,
    I totally agree with this. I am facing the same situation and trying so hard to actually fix my mistakes in undergrad degree. I know that what we are going through is just a bend on a road, the only way we can fail this is if we forget to turn! I know you can do it, and i KNOW you are a strong woman! keep on going hon!!! u will get through this hell on earth!!


    • Vanessa September 27, 2010 at 1:01 pm #

      thank you,darl! 🙂 I’ll move on,and will be just fine… so will you! 🙂 mwah!

  3. yoke September 27, 2010 at 11:53 am #

    setelah bbrp bulan menjadi jobseeker, merasakan gagal di bbrp tempat, merasa bbrp pintu uda tertutup di dpn muka gw, well, gw belajar untuk pasrah.
    dan mulai melihat hidup seperti ini:
    anggep aja lo lagi jalan dengan mata lo ditutup pake kain, lo gandengan tangan sm Tuhan n lo percayain Dy buat nuntun lo k jln yg terbaik (karena kita kan ngga pernah bener2 tau mana yg terbaik buat kita kaaan?)
    Banyak jalan menuju goal kita nek, masalahnya kita ngga tau jalannya lewat mana (secara mata kita ditutup), jd jalan satu2nya adlh nyobain satu2. kadang jalan itu pendek (jd lo bs dgn cepat tau lo bener/slh), tp kadang jalan itu panjang dan membuat lo PD duluan “kayaknya ini jalan gw nii”, tp ternyata di depan buntu dan lo harus puter balik (seperti kegagalan gw di OCBC, gagal di last step, disaat gw ngga punya cadangan apapun).
    Lo harus tetep maju nek, kita uda ngga jauh kok daro goal itu, kita punya cukup waktu untuk nyobain semua jalan sampai akhirnya kita nemuin jalan kita yang sebenernya. dengan gagal di beberapa jalan, kita uda menutup beberapa kemungkinan salah jalan, dan itu membuat kita semakin dekat dengan jalan yg benar menuju goal kita. dengan kita tahu Tuhan ngga melepaskan genggaman tangan kita, we’ll be just okay, cheer up girl, yes we can !! 😀

    • Vanessa September 27, 2010 at 1:12 pm #

      hahaha… thanks ke! I really appreciate your support 🙂 Yes I strongly agree that somehow failure is going to lead us to the right path.and you gotta keep fighting for the job too, k? 😉 fall seven times, stand up eight

  4. yoke lagii September 27, 2010 at 5:27 pm #

    pasti nekk! hehe.
    and inget jg, klo kita gagal di 1 tempat, relain aja, jangan nyalahin orang (itu NAJIS bangeddd), karena itu memang berarti bukan jalan kita lewat situ. Kalo kita paksain di situ pasti hasilnya ngga bagus, seperti analogi gw sebelomnya, klo kita uda lagi jalan jauh2, tau2 Tuhan ngajak balik arah (baca: gagal), artinya Tuhan lyat di situ ngga baiik buat kita, syapa tau ada monster di situ (secara kita ngga bs lyat kan?), hehehe.
    and gw setuju sm quote lo yg entah ada di sini ato di 1nya, klo orang yg sukses tuh org yg tau dimana letak salahnya saat dy gagal (bukan malah nyalahin oranglain) dan bisa bangkit dari kesalahannya itu, hehe, betul betul betul???
    keep fighting girl!! [=

  5. xmi October 2, 2010 at 12:59 pm #

    ya i heard thomas alfa edison worked on his lightbult 1000 times before he got it right. salute for his perseverance

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