Tie a knot and hang on

24 Sep

“When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place”

This simple sentence was a thing that brought me back to the point where I was about to leave. Lately, I have been in a rough patch and confused with what I am doing at the moment. Earlier in this year, I set some goals and plans to fulfill by the end of 2010, and I promised to get it done with excellence.

However, things were not as easy as I thought. Not that I underestimated it, but I never imagined that it would be this tough. Ones said that time is golden, yet I would like to say that time is uranium. Every time I open my eyes and by the time I have to rest, I always in a rush. ‘Hectic’ is too simple to describe my daily’s.

At first, I thought that I’ve prepared myself from all of the consequences, until I found myself cried in front of IELTS Cambridge preparation e-book. I was in so much anxiety and fear, that I will not be able to reach my target (IELTS score). I don’t want to be just ‘passed’, I want to get my target. And once I set a target, I got to fulfill it, otherwise I will be in deepest guilty (my bad, the ambitious trait in me rules :/). I have never felt this scared for the past 2 years. I have been studying for more than 5 hours/day for months, preparing myself for IELTS exam, yet still I feel not good enough. Despite all everyone’s determination that I will do good, I couldn’t felt any less better.

At the moment, I found that I was so scared to fail. I can’t bear any more failures, for I have been working so hard, sacrificing my whole-me, for the sake of my goals. Just when I felt like losing my hope, I came to my common-sense. It brought me to an awareness that in the end, the result is beyond my capability to decide. No matter how good I am, how much efforts I have done, I can only be in charged in the process, as best as I could do. The rest, I have to acknowledge that it’s belong to The Almighty One.

Thomas Alva Edison once said,
“If we all did the things we are capable of doing we would literally astound ourselves.”

As much as I want to make sure that I will be just fine, I have to have a little faith in me and Him. I will give my very best and leave the rest to be His business. Whatever the results may come out, I will try to humbly accept it, for I have done my best part.

Hence, No, I simply will not lose my hope. Yes, I’m a little lost here, there are another tough tasks to accomplish, but I’ve been through this before. My passion drive will lead me on and looking back I have come so far, I will move on, I will go on. 🙂

So, for those who are about to give up, hold on! Hang in there. Anyone can give up, it’s the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that’s true strength. Don’t lose your hope. It sustains us when nothing else can. It gives us reason to continue and courage to move ahead, when we tell ourselves we’d rather give in. Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn. 😀



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