Secretly in love, let go or hold on?

11 Sep

Falling in love has been an ancient disease since Tutankhamen ruled Egypt, yet until now no one (not even Stephen Hawking) has ever find a way to cure it. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, and in a flashing moment.
Some people would say, that falling in love is like being in a battlefield.
Some would say that falling in love is like dreaming.

I got a new case:

There’s a girl who’s confused with her mind and feelings. She swore to herself not to fall in love easily, not to believe in love easily. Everything has been so perfect until she accidentally fall for someone who is technically ‘out of reach’. This man’s condition is practically makes him unavailable (not because he’s taken). Also by fighting for this man means she has to betray her standards on relationship. Most of all, if she has to tell her feeling, she also has to take a risk of ruining their friendship, because she doesn’t have any idea how he feels about her and start getting tired with being a secret admirer. Now, let go or hold on?

Lets see what we could do for her! 🙂

G : hey sunshine, how are you doing?
E : I feel complicated and sad 😦
G : Awwww… why?
E : I feel somewhat jealous and irritated when I read his fb status. And this feeling is totally freaking me out.
G : Obviously, you have a certain feeling on him. Why don’t you tell him that?
E : I’m not brave enough, G. I never talked any flirting things with him. Plus, I don’t have the guts to take a risk to
scare him off.
G : So how could we know his feeling on you? 😛
E : Idk how… 😦
E : I actually don’t know what he feels and I don’t want anything go bad in the end.
E : Yo, you there?
G : Yeah, sorry. Just googled it, but nothing was found.
E : LOL. Googled it??
G : Hahaha, yeah. Do you know any of his friends?
E : No 😦
G : You know it’s difficult with all restrictions between you two…
G : Sorry to broke it up to you… 😦
E : I completely know and understand.
G : What do you really feel for him?
E : Well, I thought I was just missing his jokes. But later on, what I missed are his presence, his voice, the way he let
me be who I am and he can always make me laugh
G : Aww… That’s how I felt with my ex in our longest friends phase
E : But he did make a move, right 🙂
G : Yeah, after 7 months
E : The moment when I was worrying his dangerous activities, I realized that I care so much.
G : I know how it feels… It’s just also impossible because the two of you live far away
E : Yeah… Idk what I should do.
G : What I did with my ex was, be with him through good and bad times.
E : and so that’s what I have to do?
G : Somewhat yes. If you have a patience to wait and see. If there’s a glimpse, you’ll know it 🙂
E : Yeah, I know. I will never show anything in front of him though… Just, it hurts me.
G : I know. It’s like clapping with one hand doesn’t make any sound
E : Yeah
E : You know that I’m a realistic person, G. That’s why I keep fighting this feeling, although it hurts me deeply.
E : I really want to deny this feeling, if only I could. I’d rather let my heart cry than show my tears to ppl.
G : That what I do too
G : Boys are complicated
E : Yesss!!
E : Really hate it
E : Where are you anyway?
G : Going to Detroit with a friend of mine….
E : Sounds fun, hehehe
G : Not really, cause she has a meeting and I will be alone 😦
E : Aww…
E : G, I feel like an idiot… having a feeling for someone who is technically and lives thousand miles away
G : You are not an idiot. We are girls. All the attentions and cares will capture our heart, and it’s up to us, if we fall for it or not.
G : And if you do, It’s just human nature
E : Hahaha
E : Thanks, G 🙂 I need to move on.
G : You are welcome anytime 🙂 yeah just think of him as a friend
G : We just can’t help all those feelings 🙂
E : I’m trying G, hehe
G : It will take some times
E : All the best I could
G : I’m sure you are 🙂 What u up to?
E : Talking to you, holding back my tears from falling down, haha
G : Awww girl….. Don’t cry 😦
G : Well, if u need to cry it out and feel more free after that
E : Nah, I don’t need it, hehe. I just feel like a woman again after I was hurt badly 🙂
E : Thanks for listening to me
G : Hey, anytime! I’m always happy to listen to you 🙂

(This is another dialog between her and her guy friend)
A : But it’s fun, isn’t it?
E : When it comes to a real feeling, it’s sucks rather than fun
A : Try to be more realistic
E : I’m always a realistic one, A. Trust me, I won’t make any gesture or stupid moves.
E : As much as this feeling killing me inside, I will still keep this to myself and fight my own feeling
A : wow… that bad?
E : Hahaha, I guess so. I mean, after that hysterical crazy nights, this is the first time I can finally feel this kind of
thing. But because of that, I’m stronger than before 😛
A : Hahahaha.. hysterical… bad nights
E : Do you think I’m such a fool, A?
A : No…
A : A fool is someone who doesn’t know what she did and why she did it. But you do know, right?
E : Yes I do
A : Then you’re not a fool
E : Do you think I’m so dumb? Bcoz really I feel like a dumbass
A : No, you’re not. You’re my smart bestfriend. You’re my strong little sister.
A : Love can makes us feel like a fool, dumb, an idiot, etc. That’s how love works
E : Well, I can assure you that this isn’t love. It’s just I finally got something real from my heart and be able to feel secure with a man. So, it’s not love at all 🙂
A : Then what’s your problem?
E : I didn’t say I have a problem, I said that I feel sad. So, I don’t need any action to take, hehe
A : good 🙂 still sad?
E : hm, somewhat. Still trying to hold back my tears
A : remember your promise to me… that you won’t shed any more tears
E : I know and I still remember it clearly. But even superman is not always strong
A : Yes. Five for fighting said that even heroes have the right to bleed 😛
E : hahahaha, yeah. Nahhh, I won’t cry. I’ll work it out. Thanks anyway
A : I know you won’t
E : anyway, I need to sleep, I’ll catch you up tomorrow, k
A : okay, have a good sleep, cya

In the game of love, you can’t choose your game mode. You can’t pick your opponent, you can’t choose the field, and also you can’t decide how long it will take. Ready or not, like it or not, it’s what you have to face. Love happens whether you want it to or not. (and even when you won’t admit if it’s love. In this case, I also don’t call her feeling as love, because love is more than just a feeling). Don’t try to control it.

You love a person without knowing when, or how, or from where. It just happened and you know no other way.
Sometimes, the last thing you want, comes in first.
Sometimes, the first thing you want, never comes.

In the end, when it comes to feelings, love or just-a-casual-crush, even the strongest and high-determination person will not be capable to resist feelings.
It’s true that when you love someone, you have to let him/her know, because it’s better to say it rather than find out that it might be too late and regret is the only thing left.

On the other hand, sometimes, It’s not because you’re selfish or a coward. Perhaps, deep down, you know obviously that some thoughts are better left unsaid, some feelings are better left kept to yourself, and letting go for the greater good, even though it costs you a shattering pain.

In the game of love, win or lose, we are all winners. We will never be the same person as we used to be. Let go or hold on? It’s your choice. Keep this in mind that if it’s love, it always has a way of expressing itself despite the silence 🙂

Have you ever loved somebody so much that It makes you cry ?
Have you ever needed something so bad, that you can't sleep at night ?
Have you ever tried to find the words but they don't come out right ?
Have you ever been in love so bad that you'd do anything to make them understand ?
Have you ever had someone steal your heart away that you'd give anything up to make them feel the same ?
Have you ever searched for words to get you in their heart but you don't know what to say and where to start?

So everyone,
have you ever wondered which hurts the most :
saying something and wishing you had not or saying nothing and wishing you had?



2 Responses to “Secretly in love, let go or hold on?”

  1. Labekz September 12, 2010 at 2:03 am #

    this is very true and i know u are a strong and realistic woman, people fall in and out of love, it is just the matter of time. In no time, you will start laughing at it. I know u know that 😀

  2. Labekz September 12, 2010 at 2:05 am #

    by the way, i vote for let go for her, and the previous comment was meant for her haha, dont know why i use second person 😛

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