Save it or Score it?

30 Jul

To tell you the truth, I’m going to talk about a taboo issue (Again). So, please read the pre-cautions below before you read further.

1. Please keep your religion and culture in a safe place, for a while.
2. DO NOT judge
3. Try to open your mind
4. If you want to give a comment, please respect others’ opinion


What do you have in mind about that word?

“It is considered something private, appropriate only between husband and wife. It is a precious privilege given from God for a couple once they’re taken their vow in front of the altar”

“There’s nothing wrong with having it while we live in sex-saturated world. As long as it is not for a foolishness and keep it safe, it’s legal. Waiting till marriage seems outdated and prudish while deep inside you want it badly. It’s a humanly activity, so do not relate it to God”

I guess those opinions explain why this issue has been a contradiction.

Some people would say that it’s a matter of culture. While eastern culture prefer not to expose sex behavior, western culture seems pretty friendly with sex casualty.

Maybe it’s true decades ago, but today, sexual attitudes and behaviors are changing rapidly in all the cultures. To make it clear, it happens in Indonesia.

I live in Indonesia, raised in Chinese culture family, and ‘westernized’ with international cultures in school, overall I’m a mixture. As far as I can see, this country has been a two-faced one with two-faced society. We’re talking a lot about religion and morals, while our society here live far away from it.

We’re taught that sex before marriage is taboo, but we never really understand the reason and why we have to keep it. So, most of people keep their virginity, because their brain memorized that rule (they are used to it), not because of their awareness.

My foreign friends surprised about the whole virginity idea based on culture or religious belief. I also have seen people around me, who are also raised in eastern cultures are opened to sex attitudes. Some of my friends are even having a baby before marriage happened.

What’s wrong with that? Is that an excuse for us to look down at them?
They did it, and hey, they’re having peace with it, and they’re responsible for it. So, who we are, trying to judge their morality?

Lets talk about some extreme religious groups here. They’re fighting for porn existence and everything related to sex behaviors here. But what really happen here is, they’re one of the consumer. So, that’s a total bullshit.

What I want to say is, out from your excuse (culture, religion, and so on), please back to your sanity. Stop saying that your God forbid you to do this or that, what are you? A robot or an idiot? Your God wants you to make a decision and aware of it, and watch out, your God is not a life-director. Promiscuity can bring very bad consequences, but just because someone has sex before marriage it doesn’t mean he/she takes sex lightly. I’m not saying that sex before marriage is right to do or vice versa.

What I want to say here is, whatever you decide, please do it based on your awareness and do not judge other who doesn’t have the same opinion as yours. I hate those who think that they’re the most holy person on earth and look down on others. You could say that you do all your God’s rules, but who knows if you pleasure yourself (or with others) without anyone knowing it.

No more two-faced, please. This world is full enough of hypocrites, so don’t be an addition. Everyone has an evil side. You can always wear your angel mask and tired with it, or you decide to let people know that you can be a demon at a time, who cares? We are just flesh and bone, after all.

If you want to keep it for morality sake and commit with it, go on, I respect your commitment. But if you feel like you’re ready to have sex and responsible with it, why not?

Do I want to keep it or score it? hmm, lets see 😉


- my parents would freak out if they read this, but mom, dad, im still your pure little baby, don't worry (at least until now :P)
- This is an open topic, so feel free to comment, just
DO NOT insult or judge


3 Responses to “Save it or Score it?”

  1. Bella July 30, 2010 at 2:23 pm #

    Well, we had this convo earlier this week, and you really know my opinion. I really don’t make it a big deal, i dont look down on any people that decide to “score” it before marriage at all. I have a great western influence since I have lived in the US since I was 16 (now 21). So, I am very open minded about it. The only rule of thumb for me is to KNOW for sure that the man is IN LOVE with you and not only taking you for granted. Even though he might not be THE ONE for you, you know that you have shared something special with this man. so, my advice is wait for at least 6 months and get to know the man inside out!!! sont just give up your virginity for someone you dont even know!!!!!

  2. meitha soekotjo July 30, 2010 at 9:29 pm #

    hhmmm…as usual, I’ll say…”just follow your heart” ^_^
    God has given us the best quality in us to do or not to do anything that has been given in front of us.
    Its not about God gives us permission to do all the things…no.
    And, yes for awareness, Ness..!

  3. xmi September 6, 2010 at 1:30 pm #

    hmm if sex before marriage is against the norm in some culture, next we should question why. there must be a reason. a norm exist reflects the lifestyle of its population. and if it has been there all along since ancient times, it’s normal to “wonder why”. and we actually should question why. prevent from having complicated family tree maybe? (imagine your partner having kids from a few wives;one of which was your bestfriend who had just had her fourth baby and not married). sounds exciting?

    i think waiting till marriage is about keeping ourselves pure, and giving ourselves wholly to our future partner…really making sure he/she gets the best, though this would seem like a conventional idea in the modern world.

    i agree that we must be able to articulate our belief, whatever it is, instead of just doing something blindly as you mentioned, like an idiot. yet i don’t agree with that part of being ignorant/giving up our belief because of an easy excuse of “we’re just flesh and bone”.

    yup life is a choice. and whatever we choose will have implications on our future. do we want to complicate this already complicated life?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: