Just because I don’t say “I …. U”, doesn’t mean I don’t

11 Jul

“Saying nothing… sometimes says the most”

Have you ever feel like you want to say something but you gotta hold back because one or two inevitable reasons?

The melancholy side of me just awaken (again). I usually give an honor to my mind to take care of this. I’m okay, no wuckin’ forries (sorry, I’m on my way of influencing myself with OZ stuff). I just want to write something while I’m still “high” in my trance.

There are certain things, I’m trying badly to hold back. When it comes to un-living (???) matters, I can practically “kill” the urge to feel it. But when it comes to undead matters a.k.a human, it gets complicated.

There are feelings, words, thoughts, I want to spill out to a certain person (or some people). Lucky me, I have a pretty good control of myself. As a human, I REALLY want to tell it rather than keep it here alone.

As I grow up, I have to be able to choose an action carefully for specific matter, um… in this case, you know what it is.

It doesn’t feel good to be the one who has to keep a distance before anything goes further.
It doesn’t feel good to be the one who has to fight back her own feeling so anyone won’t get hurt.
It doesn’t feel good to be the one who has to keep her mouth shut while her heart is screaming out loud to say it.
It doesn’t feel good to be the one who has to act cold when all she wanted to do is hold that person close.

Sometimes, I questioned, “When will I have the chance to feel humanly alive again?”

a year? 3 years? 5 years? I don’t know. I can’t promised you anything. I guess if you have the patience to wait or if you …. (fill in the blank as you like) me enough to see, you’ll know how I feel and why I didn’t say a word.

I do …. (fill in the blank as you like) you a lot! As much as my lips want to sneak the words, it’s not the right time. And it’s not because of you. Maybe it’s JUST ME. My ego.

“One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you can’t utter.”

Ugh,far-bloody-out. No, I really don’t know what I’m saying.
That’s just another brain. jammed. session

And don’t ask why. Told ya, feelings can manipulate, and I’m on my way to rule the world, LOL *with evil-ish sound effect*


p.s: putting some OZ stuff there, and am going to put A LOT MORE in another post. Soonish.
Thx for the words, Dan! We did a great job, old chum! 😛


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