Break-up 911

8 Jul

“I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go. Things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they’re right. You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself. And sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.” (Marilyn Monroe)

Helping broken-heart friends out from misery, drags me to the days when I was in their position. I can feel every pain they are feeling now (though it’s not exactly same). I can tell the pain they feel from their words. I want to tell them that I completely understand and get it, but I guess it’s useless.

“If he hurts badly, why is he doing this to us?”
“Do I have a chance to get him back?”
“We were best best-friends, we loved each other for years, and where did it go now?”

Same questions, same complains.

In every broken relationships (talking about a normal one without cheating etc), both sides get hurt. Both are destroyed (although he’s a human with testosterone, he also feels bad, trust me). Both need space and time. Then why are hurting each other? Because, what if it’s the best for both of you. It sounds ridiculous, yeah it’s true. (sadly, love always goes ridiculous)

There are zillions reasons why both of you can’t make it. There’s no need to talk about it. It’s said and done, and what’s done is done. We, girls, are creatures with overdose emotions, I get it if you want to cry a river. Reality might looks shitty now, but later on you’ll see things clearly and get something to learn.

You might do or feel these below :
1. You fb-stalking him more than 3 times a day
2. You’re trying to contact him frequently (with all your make-up motives)
3. You want to hang out with him ASAP
4. You make sure that there’s no new “person” close to him
5. You are looking for a chance that you can get back together again
6. You check your inbox every now and then
7. You feel like you need a rebound person
8. Your heart pounding fast when you meet/see him
9. You’re looking for reasons to meet/contact him (so it might look accidentally)
10. You’re aggree-ing at least 3 of the statements above šŸ˜›

(I want to add some more, but you’ll hate me for revealing the ugly truth :P)

All I want to say is, take your time. Don’t rush.

Do care about your own feeling and condition.
Do careless about what he’s doing and how he feels. (Remember, both of you agreed to go separate ways).
Do something else to keep you busy or to distract you
Do keep distance for a while with him (it doesn’t mean that you’re going to be enemies)
Do get rid of his things/pictures
Do move your ass to the gym
Do have yourself introspect-ing
Do realize that it’s called a break-up because IT’S BROKEN

I hate to say this, but there’s no instant tips to get over a break-up. You wish time flies, but during post break-up, time does crawl, lol šŸ˜€

Whether in the end you’ll get back together or not, it doesn’t much matter right now. You need time to heal, he needs time to heal.

So IF both of you finally decide to start over, no hard feelings, no trauma, and you start over with a new beginning as a new mature person who learns from mistakes.

And IF you finally decide to start with someone new, you won’t have emotional baggage to put on him and I think it wouldn’t be fair to give your bleeding heart to someone who truly loves you šŸ™‚

(No man is worth your tears & the one who is, won’t make you cry)

Remember, no regrets. You’ve done your best in your relationship, nothing to feel guilt for, none to blame. You loved him before and now be brave, once again, love him enough to let him go šŸ™‚

Even with our fists held high
it never would’ve worked out right
You can’t make it feel right when you know that it’s wrong
I want you to know that it doesn’t matter
Where we take this road someone’s gotta go
And I want you to know that I love you
So I love you enough to let you go

The hardest part of loving someone is knowing when to let go, and knowing when to say goodbye.

I know you can do it, it’s better to be loved and lost than never been in love at all šŸ™‚


p.s: this is just another post of mine about break-ups. You might get bored with this kind of post (honestly,so do I), but well I guess there will always broken heart friends talk to me and makes me want to write something from their stories šŸ˜›


5 Responses to “Break-up 911”

  1. Lita July 8, 2010 at 10:41 pm #

    siapa lagi ini nek?hahaha.

  2. yoke July 8, 2010 at 10:53 pm #

    yakin s2 nya ga mau ambil psikologi aja?
    ato sastra? hahaha.
    tiap baca tulisan lo, gw selalu pengen nulis d, tp i don’t know where to start, haha, emank memulai sesuatu itu bagian tersulit (baca: termales) yaaaa..hahha..

    • Vanessa July 9, 2010 at 3:48 pm #

      aduuuuu, pengennya ambil psikologi sieh, tp nanti saya kapan married donk? šŸ˜›
      start with something simple, and let your mind flow through your fingertips, hehe šŸ˜€
      Writing is so much fun šŸ™‚ You should try it ;p thanks anyway for keep reading my posts šŸ™‚

  3. Romy Rome July 9, 2010 at 12:11 am #

    I appreciate this post… I really do. You tell it like it really is without holding back. I actually just split up with my fiance a couple weeks back on the fact that I messed up pretty badly and hurt her. We were together for five years… From your point of view, Is it wrong to hold onto a little bit of hope? I am in the process of getting help to sort out my thoughts and control my actions. I really am on the path of change…

    • Vanessa July 9, 2010 at 3:45 pm #

      Hi, thanks for reading my post šŸ™‚
      I’m not really sure what to say, because I don’t really know what made you split up with her. I think, the reason for a break-up is pretty essential.

      From my point of view, as a girl, when a guy hurts me badly and we were together for a long time, there will be a part of me who wants him back but also there will be another part of me want him “die”. šŸ˜›

      It is okay to hold onto a little hope, but if in this case you hurt her badly, I guess you gotta spare her time and space. Let her think thoroughly. It’s so much better to decide something rationally not emotionally. Do extra efforts to make situation better. Whatever you do, make sure this time you won’t fall in the same old path.

      Best of luck, Romy šŸ™‚

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