Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani ?

25 Jun

I, who always have a little faith that one day God will stop throwing me with troubles.
I, who always believe that one day God will shed my tears.
I, who always trust that God will pick me up whenever I stumble and fall.
I, who always hope that God will finally give me a rainbow.

Now, that person doesn’t know what to define anymore.

I always be strong,
no matter how hard problems hit me,
no matter how painful people I loved hurt me,
no matter how difficult obstacles might come toward me.

I obey Your rules
I give all I am to glorify Your name
I never asked You to take away my pain
I always be thankful for EVERYTHING You’ve given to me

Now, could You do me a favor to give me a break and stop throwing shits to me?

Do You know how much it hurts, when I need to share my problems and no one’s there?
Do You know how much it hurts, when I want to have someone to comfort me but all I get is another accusing?
Do You know how much it hurts, when I have to keep all my hard days for myself because no one cares?
Do You know how much it hurts, when I want to cry but even tears refused to come out for me?

I am alone.
You promised me not to leave me.
You promised me a rainbow after the rain.
You promised me that You won’t let go of my hand.
You promised me that when everyone fails me, You won’t.
You promised me that You’re the only one that I can trust.

But, where are Your promises now ???

I am not a superhuman. You know it, clearly.

I’m not exaggerating everything. I’m not being dramatic. I’m sick of this. I AM NOT FINE.

Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani ?



4 Responses to “Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani ?”

  1. Lisa June 25, 2010 at 9:49 pm #

    the darkest of night is right before the dawn!

  2. megahchristan June 25, 2010 at 10:07 pm #

    gosh dear, you totally sound depressed!
    and what is happening here??

  3. Mathilde Hallingstad June 25, 2010 at 10:08 pm #

    If God led you to it, He’ll lead you through it.

    Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.
    Isaiah 41,10

    I am with you always, even to the end of the age.
    Matthew 28,20

    As your days, so shall your strength be.
    Deuteronomy 33,25

    You know and truly believe that the Lord has done many great things for you. You know that he has not failed in any of his promises. The Lord has kept every promise that he has made to us.
    Joshua 23,14

  4. Vanessa June 25, 2010 at 10:16 pm #

    @ megah : shits happen, and this time, I can’t take it anymore. I don’t want to be contacted by anyone, I want to run away.

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