May 27th 2010
RIP, Micko, our beloved little grey toy poodle.
There are times when we missed someone, we want to grab and hold and never let go, but then we realize that he/she has gone forever.
There are moments when suddenly, every single memories, every single silly acts, appear in our mind, and it make us suffered a lot, because we could only ‘see’ it and will never be replayed.
I always hate farewell. I hate saying goodbye. I hate to admit that what I have left is only memories.
My dog passed away yesterday. You might think I’m an idiot, being this sentimental over a dog. You can say whatever you want to say. He might be just a dog, but for me, for my family, he’s a member of us, A PART OF THE FAMILY. He lived with us for more than 10 years. Long enough?
I still remembered the day he came to our house. He was so shy, hide under the sofa. He looked confused, but he tried to adapt with us. It took less than 2 days, til finally we were bonded. He never liked ball. He chose chicken than beef.
He used to accompany me in the study room til I finished my study time.
He used to shake my hand when I came home from school.
He used to barked everytime strangers knocked our front door.
He used to scared with thunders and darkness.
He used to cried when we left him for a vacation.
He was okay when we had other dogs came to our house, knew that he had to share our attention with other dogs.
He was okay when I had to put him in second priority when Brownie was born.
He was okay to stay outside while he was lost his sight.
HE ALWAYS PUT HIS LOVE AND LOYALTY UNCONDITIONALLY TO US.
I know that no matter how much I poured out my tears, he would never come back in my life.
I know that no matter how hard I prayed, he would never greet me in the front door anymore.
Micko, if you’re up there, somewhere, you can see me, see how much I’ve cried over you, how I regret for not being there for you. I just want to see you for the last time. I just want to hold your soft fur for the last time. You’re gone too soon. Do you know that it hurts me a lot when I remember every moments we shared? Do you know that I cry everytime I heard a dog bark? Do you know that losing you is worse than losing my ex? Do you know, how many times I begged to God to bring you back, just for a day, ONE DAY, ONE LAST TIME.
A friend of mine, gave me this notes, he said that you probably want to say this to me :
“my friend, when I am very old, and
I no longer enjoy good health, hearing and good sight,
do not make heroic efforts to keep me going.
I am not having fun.
Please see that my trusting life is taken gently.
I shall leave this earth knowing
with the last breath I drew,
that my fate was always safest in your hand.“
You had been an amazing dog. A loyal, selfless, loving dog. You ought to know that mom and dad also cried over you.
I don’t want to say goodbye, I’m not ready to let you go, but I have to. I know, you are doing fine now. I wish, one day, we can meet up again, spend time together. I don’t care how many people will call me a dumb for crying over you until now. All I know is, you’ve taught me about loyalty and unconditional love. You are just a dog for people out there, but the fact is, you completed our family.
I love you, love you so much, and will always do. I miss you so much.