I’m not in a good shape recently. It’s been too much, everything, and I feel like I can’t take it anymore, and start complaining. Oh yea, you have all rights to say that I’m a big blouse girl 😦
I keep saying “I’m okay” to every “how are you” questions given to me.
But, sometimes when I say “I’m okay”, I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight, and say, “I know you are not”.
The next thing I did was letting zillion “what if” questions messing with my mind.
What if I chose Culinary Arts in the first place instead of Chemical Engineering?
(maybe I wouldn’t have any stuck research)
What if I have a time-travel ability, like Hiro Nakamura in Heroes?
(maybe I can turn back the time, whenever I want)
What if I am not living in Indonesia?
(maybe I wouldn’t have to feel so pissed off with the government)
What if I wasn’t blinded by a lust?
(maybe I wouldn’t have any difficulties trusting a person)
What if I am Paris Hilton?
(I can buy any labels stuffs I want :P)
What if I have an older brother/sister?
(maybe I could have someone to lean on)
What if I learn violin in earlier age?
(maybe I could join the royal philharmonic orchestra :D)
Guess what, those “what if” questions made me even worse instead of giving me “nice air”. All those excuses
allowed me to feel pity on what I have now. That makes me weaker and I hate to be weak. I have to stand still and be strong, whatever comes away.
What I want to say is embrace every moment, no matter how awful it may looks like. Questioning things that already happened in the past and you can’t do anything to change it, is lame. Focusing on what you’re doing now. Stop being who you were and be who you are now. I know it’s easy to say, hard to do. I find it impossible to do too. But wait, impossible = I’m possible 😛
When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not ready. The challenge will not wait. Carpe diem. Seize the moment. (Paulo Coelho).
Just sing this The Beatles song with me :
” Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be… 😀 “