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Soul mates

22 Aug

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I don’t know how you are so familiar to me—or why it feels less like I am getting to know you and more as though I am remembering who you are. How every smile, every whisper brings me closer to the impossible conclusion that I have known you before, I have loved you before—in another time, a different place, some other existence. (lang leav)

and in this life time, I have to say goodbye to you… again.

I will carry a fragment of you with me, so you could find me your missing piece after life.

So perhaps, I will see you in another life time, in another dimension.

Goodnight, my soul mate.

Ness

Dear you, thank you

20 Aug

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Dear you,

It’s unbelievable to think all the years I’ve lived knowing you.
It’s funny how close we are when we are thousand miles away

Thank you for always making me smile, even for just a moment
Thank you for always remind me that I deserve the best of everything
Thank you for always telling me that I’m amazing and beautiful
Thank you for always trying to understand me even when you don’t
Thank you for letting me be your hope
Thank you for being a friend when I need one

Thank you for being you :)

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Sincerely,

Ness

Happy Ending

12 Aug

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Every movie we see, Every story we’re told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we’re so focused on finding our happy ending we don’t learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don’t, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn’t include a guy, maybe… it’s you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is… just… moving on

Ness

26 things you need to know in your 20s (about men)

12 Aug

Here is the list of 26 things I learned about men at the age of 26 :

1. If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn’t want you, nothing can keep him away.

2. Stop making excuses for a man and his behaviour. Allow your intuition to save you from heartache.

3. Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that’s not meant to be.

4. Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy

5. If a relationship ends because the man wasn’t treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can’t be friends. A friend wouldn’t mistreat a friend.

6. Don’t stay because you think “it will get better”. You’ll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better

7. The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

8. If he cheated WITH you, he will cheat ON you.

9. Avoid men who’ve got a bunch of children by a bunch of women. he didn’t marry them when he got them pregnant, Why would he treat you any differently?

10. Always have your own set of friends separate from his, so you will have your own support system.

11. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up, before it’s too late.

12. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.

13. You cannot change a man’s behaviour. Change comes from WITHIN.

14. Don’t EVER make him feel he is more important than you are.. even if he has more education or in a better job.

15. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a MAN, nothing more nothing less. Never EVER let a man define who you are.

16. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.

17. You should not be the one doing all the bending. Compromise id a two-way street.

18. You need tine to heal between relationships. There is nothing cute about baggage. Deal with your issues BEFORE pursuing a new relationship.

19. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you. A relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals. Look for someone complimentary, not supplementary.

20. Dating is fun, even if he doesn’t turn out to be Mr. Right.

21. Make him miss you sometimes. When a man always know where you are and you’re always readily available to him – he takes it for granted.

22. Don’t fully commit to a man who doesn’t give you everything you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

23. Be happy with yourself in the first place. If you’re not happy with you, why would you be happy with someone else?

24. When you are always HAPPY; and he is always free to GO; He feels LUCKY

25. Forcing men to talk about feelings all the time will not only make you seem needy, it will eventually make him lose respect. And when he loses respect, he’ll pay even less attention to your feelings.

26. The most attractive quality of all is dignity. Make sure you have one.

(Credits to : MaryRone Shell and Sherry Argov)

Have a sparkling day, beautiful!

Ness

Chat

Life Lesson of K-drama

11 Aug

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I think women really like it when a man stands up for them.  It does not have to end up in a fist fight, but there is something about the sight of a man who pursues the woman he loves.

Recently, I’ve been watching a pile of Korean Drama DVDs. Okay, I’m not a fan of cheesy-mushy drama, but hey, watching these series warmed my heart up. Now I get the idea why women love Korean Drama. The one and only reason is because the male lead actor there fight like crazy to be with the woman he loves. He didn’t act all romantic etc, all he did was showing the girl how much he wanted her in his life through every worse scenarios. And I can assure you guys, THAT kind of gesture, swoon us girls over.

After the series has over, I came back to reality dimension and start thinking what if that kind of man really exists. Often times, I think to myself, why does it take so hard and complicated to show someone that you want her/him in your life. Because from what I learned from K-drama, it only takes commitment and your guts.

I grew up in a culture where boys are raised and being spoilt more than girls, so that they lose their manliness. A few months ago, I had a close friend whose had been in a relationship with her bf for almost a decade, broke up. The reason was seriously ridiculous : because her ex’s grandma didn’t approve her. Yeah, you read it right, grandma. I was very pissed. He’s a goddamn adult and almost 30, and he let the woman he loved go, because his grandma didn’t like the woman. What happened with man up and use your brain? What happened with fighting for your happiness? I guess those all have gone with the so-called eastern manners.

I might sound like a racist eventhough I didn’t mean to, but I value western culture (and the men?) more than my eastern culture. Most of the times, my eastern culture got mixed with common-sense that people confuse between right/wrong and kind/bad. What makes it worse, most guys from our race, despite their intellectual level, can’t even decide his own life for the sake of family dignity and keeping up the goddamn culture.

So the main question is, where are these guys who will take risk for the woman they love?

Excuse me, I’m gonna look for him in my K-drama. :D

Note : I am a Chinese descendant and I dislikes my ridiculous nonsense culture.

16 hours and counting

30 May

Dear you,

It’s already been 16 hours, sun changes into moon, night changes into day…

But why I haven’t changed at all?

It’s been 16 hours.

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-Ness-

It’s all worthwhile

29 May

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Everything will fall into place eventually.  Until then, learn what you can, laugh often, live for the moments, and know it’s all worthwhile.

Until then…

-Ness-

The clock

20 Apr

Do you see its eye?
It is staring at me!

Do you hear its voice?
It is yelling at me!

No, I’m not hallucinating

Please!
It’s running after me!
It’s coming to me!

No, I’m not imagining

Please!
I lost my breath
I lost my track
Please!

Sshhh…
It could hear you
It could see you

What? You don’t know it?

It’s the clock!

It doesn’t want me to rest
It doesn’t want me to stop

I can’t
Any more
Any longer

Stop thinking
Stop pacing
Stop rushing

Oh no!

Tick tock
It’s the clock!

I reached the point where I feel so tired. Physically and mentally. I want to quit my job, stop socializing, stop going out, stop going further to reach my goals, and just lay down and drift of into a cave and hide there. Suddenly, I feel so sick with trying and surviving. Actually No, it’s not a sudden. Maybe I’ve been holding it inside all this time. Pretending to be brave. I feel so exhausted til I cant feel anymore. I become so numb. I just want to quit… everything. The clock keeps ticking. I can hear it out loud. Even in my sleep. It won’t stop. It doesn’t want me to rest. Or perhaps, I’m being delusional. Yes, I might be crazy.

-Ness-

I QUIT!!!

27 Mar

It’s been 6 months I’ve been thinking to quit.

Not that I am not good enough for them, but I feel like they don’t deserve me.

I have been gone too far, sunk too deep, lost.

This place was my perfect battlefield, the place where all the greatest ones were born, raised and thrive.

They said,”Only the best ones survived”

I was proud. Too proud.

And drowned in my arrogance, ambition, triumph.

Until once in a gloomy day, I realized my evil side has taken over myself.

I was becoming the person I’ve always scared to be.

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Again, I am reluctant to let my throne go. My pride. My ego.

Little did I know, I was messed up, brutally injured, yet still forcing myself to fight.

I used to think “this is the place where I belong, my second home, where I thrive with my fellow survivor”

I used to say “these people are my family, they raised me to be strong and indestructible”

Until my closed ones said “you are changed. you are scaring me.”

That was the point when I feel that this isn’t right

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So, I come to a decision.

I am done with hurting myself.

I need my life back.

I got to fly again.

i quit.

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Buildings with a hundred floors, Swinging around revolving doors
Maybe I don’t know where they’ll take me but gotta keep moving on, moving on

Mi casa, mi querido

24 Feb

Dear you,

It’s been years
Hours
Thousand of hours, I suppose

They said,
“Never give up on something that you can’t go a day without thinking about.” 

You are more than just a ‘something’ to me

Million times I tried to banish this illogical damned feeling
Zillion times I yelled to myself to be real
God knows, I have tried

It should be easy
Easy to let go and move on
Move on to kill any hope for us

I can’t.

I don’t know what love is.

BUT

You feel like home to me
Warm
Safe
Comforting

We breathe under the same sky
Yet the sun and the moon haven’t been together
Miles and miles away from home

Time is ticking.
Fate is judging.

My heart is yearning to be at home

Should I let you fly away?
Should I give us up?

Will you fight for us?

-Ness-

Et si tu savais, ce que ce moment signifie pour moi
Et combien de temps j’ai attendu pour te toucher
Et si tu savais à quel point tu me rends heureuse
Je n’ai jamais pensé que j’aimerais quelqu’un si fort

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